Mothers and Fathers - The Answer to Society’s Ills

Father’s Day, it was an opportunity to focus not only on the heavenly Father, but my earthly father as well. I thought of how blessed I am to have a father growing up who was responsible, tough and yet loving. The view of your parents changes throughout your life. From childhood to early adult to middle age…Every year my respect for my father (and mother) has grown.

Unlike when I was a kid, a decreasing number of families have live-in fathers. Just writing that last sentence, live-in fathers, is a reflection of how society has broken own. Divorce is common place, and an increasing number of children are raised by single mothers mostly born out of wedlock. This is tremendously destructive and the impact reflected in rates of crime, addiction and poverty. Social science has weighed in; the evidence clearly shows children are best served by families with a Mother and Father. So why is the issue that seemingly we (society) have the most control over is least discussed? In the array of challenges facing America: Foreign Policy, Entitlements, Economic c bubbles and Islam; the family is something we have direct control over. So where is the outcry?

Well, ask Dan Quayle about criticizing the glorification of single mother-hood. Ask the late, Senator Pat Moynihan about citing statistics of out of wedlock birth rates. You don’t need to be Frank Luntz to understand how talking about fathers has become the third rail in politics. We are in the bizarro world of political dialogue when it is in considered daring for Presidential candidate to say marriage is an exclusive relationship between (and solely between) one man and one woman. When someone has the audaciousness to bring up the need for fathers; you are immediately attacked for being insensitive, intolerant and out of touch. Hey, I got some news for the left wing media (news, commentary and chat). Put any single mother under oath, and ask her if she thinks that being a single parent is better for the child than one with a “live in” Dad. Oh I know the knee jerk objections: Well it is better than a live-in father who is: addicted, abusive or…you get the idea. My idiot disclaimer for those who think I would actually advocate women (and their children) living in a destructive situation: Of course, there are situations where, being a single parent is the only option. That said, it doesn’t change the fact that promoting single mother-hood is something to be discourage; the impact on the child is not benign; there is a much greater chance for harm.

I am not attacking the single mom, but I am voicing strong opposition to it. While I commend the mothers who did not kill their baby in the womb (thank you for having an ounce of common sense), I condemn the behavior that led to the current situation wherever the chips of blame fall. Further, I condemn media that are so concerned with the feelings of single moms yet they’re unwilling to silence the people who are informing society of the consequences. Single mothers are only 50% of the problem; the fathers are ones who need to step up…shame on them. Speaking of shame, there is a lot to go around:

Shame on:

• A culture that glorifies sexual promiscuity of males without holding them to account.
• A school system who says we have to start distributing condoms in class as well as having day care centers for students, but refuse to tolerate abstinence programs or even the mention of God.
• Politicians too cowardly to tell the truth.
• People like me who in the past criticize these problems, but we’re living lives of behavioral hypocrisy.

When we look at out of wed lock births and the epidemic of single Moms; most of us have to first take a good look in the mirror. Yes, it is much easier to talk about programs that breed dependence than it is to own up to our own actions and become accountable.

It is time for raw, unabashed truth; tolerance, feelings and sensitivity should never replace honesty in matters of a consequence. Out of wedlock birth should be discouraged not enabled. And to the entire group of single moms who think I am being too harsh, judgmental and sanctimonious. I have, and have never claimed, to be your moral superior. If it helps you to demonize me so be it. However, it is not about me; it is not even about you. No, this is about the greatest thing you will do with your life: raise your children.